


Valentine's Prompt LWG

by ADojo, AlexVaz01, MyFairAlice, PearlTheKnight, REDEADED, TwinCarcino, WanderingShiren



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Background Relationships, F/F, prompt: fake dating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-18 04:38:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13674426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADojo/pseuds/ADojo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexVaz01/pseuds/AlexVaz01, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyFairAlice/pseuds/MyFairAlice, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PearlTheKnight/pseuds/PearlTheKnight, https://archiveofourown.org/users/REDEADED/pseuds/REDEADED, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwinCarcino/pseuds/TwinCarcino, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanderingShiren/pseuds/WanderingShiren
Summary: An idea we came up with in the Lapidot Writer's Guild. We choose one prompt and all write about it, seeing what we all come up with. Then, we put them together in one huge pile for you!The prompt for this one is fake dating! Hope you enjoy it, and if this gets some good feedback, we might do it again!





	1. Sweet Little Lies (Shiren)

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo. Hope you guys enjoy this sort of "collaboration" though it's not really collaborative. Warning ahead: my chapter contains angst as well as a non-consensual kiss. Read at your caution!

Sweet Little Lies

 

Lapis drops her bookbag in her room of the shared apartment. Lugging that thing around all day kills her shoulders. She sighs, reaching into the bag to grab at her homework and laptop to begin working. As she zips up that bag, a knock resounds on her door.

 

Looking up, she sees Pearl and Amethyst at her door. Lately, the two had been pestering her about her past relationship and her refusal to open up about it.

 

“Hello, Lapis,” Pearl finally starts, “How was your day?”

 

Lapis only grumbles in response.

 

“We were thinking…” Amethyst steps forward into the room, brow furrowed, “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk to us, but we wanted to know if you’d like to join us on Valentine’s Day? We could have a girl’s night!”

 

_ No, no, no, _ Lapis thought to herself. She wants to be alone.  _ Why can’t they just leave me alone? _

 

“No thanks,” Lapis states, rather bluntly, turning her swivel chair to the slot in her desk. She opens her laptop, done with the conversation.

 

“Why not?” Pearl gawks.

 

_ Of course they can’t drop it. _

 

“I would rather not bring down your guys’ happiness,” Lapis states bitterly.

 

“It’ll be fine, Lap!” Amethyst moves closer to sling an arm around Lapis. “Besides, you’ve been holed up in your room for weeks! Some time out with us can only do you well.” Amethyst flashes her trademark grin.

 

_ Shit, looks like they won’t take no for an answer.  _ Lapis glances around, looking for something, anything to save her. She looks down at the physics book she has sitting in her lap, before looking back up at her roommates.

 

“I can’t because I’ll be spending Valentine’s Day with my lab partner,” Lapis hopes they’ll leave her alone now.

 

Pearl eyes her skeptically. “Your lab partner, huh?”

 

“Y-yup. Yes. She’s a tiny blonde girl named Peridot.” Hopefully, Peridot didn’t mind Lapis throwing her under the bus.

 

“Oh!” Amethyst excitedly exclaimed, “We can have a double date!”

 

“What?!” Lapis and Pearl responded in unison.

 

“Yeah, it’ll be perfect! Unless… there’s something you’d like to tell us Lapis?” Amethyst shoots a devious smile over to Pearl, who sends one right back.

 

_ Shit, can’t back out now. _

 

“Fine,” Lapis says, firmness in her voice. “I’ll ask Peridot if she wants to go.” Lapis turns back to her computer as Amethyst ruffles her hair.

 

“Good to hear! Seven O’clock on Wednesday. Don’t be late!” With that, the two finally exited Lapis’ room. 

 

Lapis slouches down in her chair and sighs.

 

◇◇◇◇

 

Peridot sits down in her Physics class, beginning to unpack things from her backpack. This includes her computer, her book, her binder, and her calculator. She was glad the science classrooms had tables instead of desks, because there was no way all this stuff would fit on one of those.

 

Other students begin to file in as class drew to a start, one of the last was her partner Lapis. Peridot blushes at the dress Lapis was wearing. 

 

Peridot may have a little crush on Lapis, just a tiny one. She knew however that Lapis had recently broken up with her girlfriend, and Peridot didn’t want to do anything about it yet.

 

The lecture was short today. The teacher wants them all to go work on their upcoming project.

 

“Where do you want to go?” Lapis asks, breaking the awkward silence that engulfed them.

 

“Eh, I’m fine with anywhere,” Peridot replied semi-hollowly. Little sleep tended to have that effect on her.

 

“You live in the dorms, right?” Peridot nods at this. “We can go to one of the study rooms there.”

 

Peridot nods as she leads Lapis to her dorm, awkward silence enveloping them again.

 

_ That’s strange. Usually Lapis is a good conversationalist. _ The shirter girl turns to her companion. Lapis looks disheveled, that much is normal, but she also seems fidgety. Nervous. Peridot doesn’t know what she has to be nervous for. Maybe she’ll bring it up when they start working on the project.

 

Arriving at her building, Peridot swipes them in, taking the elevator up to her floor. Peridot leads Lapis towards her room, but turns before her door, going into the empty study room.

 

Setting her stuff down, Peridot begins to pull out her supplies. Lapis coughs, bringing attention to herself. When she sees that she had the shorter girl’s attention, she scratches the back of her neck.

 

“Hey, Peridot,” Lapis starts hesitantly, “There’s something I want to ask you.”

 

At this, Peridot felt her cheeks heat up. She feels a mass of butterflies amass in her stomach.  _ Is it possible? _ She wonders.

 

Lapis sighs, “This is gonna be a long story. The sum of it is will you go on a date with me?”

 

Peridot gets very excited at this, she opens her mouth to respond, but Lapis cuts her off first.

 

“Wait, there’s some things you need to know before that.” Lapis steadily breathes in and out, attempting to calm herself. “First, I am not ready to date anyone yet. Emotionally, I’m still getting over my last break up. Second, I asked you for this because I lied to my roommates, and now they want us to join them on a double date for Valentine's day. Third, I’m sorry for getting you involved. I don’t have feelings for you, I just want my roommates to stop bothering me.”

 

Peridot’s mood sours considerably after the second part of Lapis’ confession. She put on an understanding facade and pushes herself forward. 

 

“Yeah, I can help with that. Just tell me when and where,” the shorter girl had to focus to not let her emotions seep to deeply into her voice.

 

“Great! Thank you so much!” Lapis wraps the shorter girl in a hug. Peridot returns it bittersweetly.

 

◇◇◇◇

 

Lapis had told Peridot in the following days where and when they were meeting.

 

Finally, the day arrived. Lapis is nervous to be sure. She wants their charade to be believable. She even asks Peri what she was going to wear so they could match.

 

Amethyst and Pearl agree to drive Lapis to the place and Peridot would drive herself. With them arriving just in time for their reservations, the group is seated rather quickly. Peridot texts Lapis to inform them she was going to be a bit late.

 

They’re seated for a few minutes, then their server comes over. After they put in their drinks, they begin to idly chat.

 

“So, how did you and Peridot… you know?” Amethyst asked.

 

“Yeah, this is the first I’ve heard about this,” Pearl smirks att Lapis.

 

Lapis had to think quickly. “Yeah, she confessed to me during one of our lab activities. I thought “why not.” We’ve been together since.”

 

“Oh, and how long was that ago?” Pearl fires out.

 

“We’ve been together about two weeks,” Lapis says, running a hand through her hair.  _ This isn’t good. If Peridot doesn’t arrive soon, I’ll be ousted all ready by the hole of lies I’m digging myself into. _

 

As if on cue, who would appear but the great and lovable Peridot. Lapis finds her jaw on the floor. Peridot was dressed up very nice in a dark blue dress and large platform shoes. The shorter girl struts over to the table, taking a seat next to her “girlfriend.”

 

Not very long after, the waiter returns with their beverages, taking down Peridot’s with him as well.

 

Conversation returned to the table with a shifted focus on Peridot and detailing (trying to catch her in the lie) her and Lapis’ relationship.

 

Lapis wants to try to get the more physical aspect of their relationship down. She tries to put her arm around the smaller girl, but finds that every time she makes contact, the other pulls away. Finally giving up, Lapis resigned herself to hoping the others wouldn’t notice.

 

Throughout their conversations, Lapis began to notice things that she couldn’t help but find adorable about Peridot. The way she laughed, her natural awkwardness, and her affinity for anything geek. Lapos would even say she was beautiful, especially with the way she was dressed.

 

Lapis couldn’t believe she hadn’t realized this before.  _ Has she always been this cute? _ She thought.  _ Hell, I wouldn’t mind seeing if she actually wanted to date after this. _

 

◇◇◇◇

 

“So Peridot,” Pearl started, “How long have you and Lapis been dating?” At the end of her question she began to pointedly shift her gaze to Lapis.

 

Without skipping a beat, Peridot replied, “About two weeks. Specifically, two weeks and a day.” Peridot and Lapis had rehearsed this. They went over basic questions the two discussed, including: the date they got together, their first “date," and even who confessed (Peridot).

 

While she was answering basic questions, she noticed Lapis continuously tried to touch her. Peridot didn’t want to be touched. She didn’t want her mind to think it was real. Peridot was still pretty agitated about this whole thing. But Lapis was persistent in her attempts to make contact. Finally, letting out a low hiss, Lapis gets the message and back off.

 

She was barraged by an assault of basic relationship questions. Some she only knew from working with being friends with Lapis for a semester.

 

“You two don’t seem very comfortable with each other,” Pearl states skeptically.

 

:Yeah, Amethyst follows, “You never really seem to touch each other. Have you even kissed yet?”

 

Peridot didn’t want to admit that she’d never been kissed, let alone had her first kiss with Lapis. She especially didn’t want her first kiss to be taken on a fake date.

 

Lapis seems to have other plans, however, as she begins grabbing at Peridot’s face, inching closer and closer.

 

_ Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.  _ Peridot tries to pull away, but Lapis’ firm grip keeps her in place. Her eyes are open as their lips meet. As soon as it happens, Lapis’ grip loosens, and Peridot pulls away quickly. She lets out a growl at this. Grabbing her coat and purse, she begins leaving.

 

Storming out of the front of the restaurant, she almost so angry she doesn’t notice the door open again, revealing Lapis. Rain begins to lightly fall.

 

“Peridot, please--"

 

Peridot holds up a hand. “No. Listen, I know I said I’d help you, but that was too far! You didn’t even ask me to do that or anything! Did you think I’d just be fine with it? What is wrong with you?” The words came out fast and with a confidence Peridot was unaware of.

 

“I’m sorry. I guess I wasn’t thin--"

 

“You weren’t thinking? Damn right, you weren’t thinking. Did you ever stop to think about how I feel instead of this silly charade you’re trying to put up?”

 

“I got a little carried away.”

 

“A little? You stole my first kiss! I didn’t want it to go like that! I wanted to save it for someone who actually likes me! Not this silly fake date thing!”

 

“Peridot, I--"

 

“I like you, okay?”

 

“W-what?”

 

“I like you. A lot. But I never told you because I knew you wanted space. But then this happens and it feels like you’re just making a mockery of me.”

 

“I-I’m so--"

 

“Save it. I’m leaving.” Peridot wipes away the tears forming in her eyes. The rain begins to pour as she turns and gets in her car, slamming the door behind her. Pulling out, she leaves a dumbstruck Lapis Lazuli standing in the pouring rain, hurting worse than ever before.


	2. Shhhh, I Knew Already (REDEADED/KingREDEADED)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine’s Day party at Pearl’s house where best friends Lapis and Peridot pretend to be girlfriend’s so Lapis doesn’t feel embarrassed. What happens when a party game brings them closer together? Contains: Alcohol Consumption, Mild smut, Lapidot, and Jaspearl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fell asleep in the middle of writing this yesterday haha! I hope you all enjoy my tale!

“I don’t think they’ll buy it Lap.” Peridot mumbled into her cell phone. She had just put away the cat food and rubbed her foot against Pumpkin who was happily devouring her meal.

‘Come on Per! I can’t be the only one there without a girlfriend!’

“Your a flirt Lazuli, go scoop up one of your old girlfriend’s.”

‘That’s just rude Peridot.’ The blonde winced and apologized instantly. The silence over the phone grew longer and more uncomfortable until Peridot groaned:

“Fine, what time do I need to be dressed?” Peridot took a mental note that it was casual clothing so she could just go in jeans and a shirt if she wanted to. “Alright Lap, no funny business alright?”

‘We’re pretending to date Peridot, if no funny business then I might as well go by myself.’

“YOU KNOW WHAT I MENT!” Lapis laughed her head off on the other end before the two said their goodbyes. She had a good amount of time until she needed to be ready meaning she could take an hour to pick out her outfit before going grocery chopping and running her other errands.

As soon as Peridot opened her closet door on the other hand, she knew it would take longer than an hour therefore she opted to run her errands first. She always went to the pet isle first no matter what she was there to get, Peridot knew what Pumpkin liked and she knew to always pick her up her favorite cat nip regardless if she had been a good girl or not. Next heading to get meat and veggies, maybe a few fruits here and there until she felt her phone vibrate.

“Lapis?” Opening the text Peridot’s face heated up at seeing Lapis in different outfits. One was a low cut crop top revealing her chest with tight black jeans and a silver necklace to go with the black and white striped shirt. The other was a pair of shorts and a black top with thin straps. Lapis wasn’t a fan of bras and that ment she could tease Peridot a lot easier with that first outfit. Peridot sent a message saying she didn’t care which ment Lapis would probably choose the former, grabbing the rest of her items the blond was out the door and headed back home in no time.

Two hours left, no problem. Responding to more texts Peridot tossed her phone on the bed ignoring more conversation with the others and throwing open her closet door once more. A good amount of options at her disposal, would be a semi chilly night tonight meaning no shorts and possibly wearing her flannel. Should she dress for comfort or to slightly show off? As she pushed past outfits she found an old shirt Lapis had got her a few years ago when she had gone out to go see a band both of them enjoyed. Pulling it off the hanger Peridot softly smiled at the sight; A whale flying out of the sea as fishermen were taken aback and the blue green sky forming around the beast.

Sentimental? Yeah that could work! Peridot threw it on the bed along with her undergarments and some old blue jeans. Shooting an ‘I’m ready’ text to Lapis, Peridot jumped in the shower hoping to be ready before the bluenette arrived at her apartment. The longest part of her showers was doing her hair, making sure to get ALL of the shampoo out could tend to be a hassle but she always prevailed. Dried off and dressed she felt her phone vibrate once more alerting her to throw on her flannel and head outside to meet up with her friend. Peridot was right and was welcomed to the sight of Lapis in the outfit she was blushing at but thankfully Lapis pulled on a black zip up hoodie to keep from getting cold.

“You’re going to have to wait to get a look at the goods babe.” Lapis winked earning an eye roll. The old ‘hunk of junk car’ as Peridot called it was one of her favorite places to be in the whole world! Lapis and Peridot would go on so many different trips and see so many different concerts together. Lapis always had a random playlist on for both women to get lost in as she hauled ass to their destination. Pearl’s home was always clean and tidy unless she was having a party, which ment that she would finally cut loose and take part in the shenanigans. Thankfully Pearl lived down the path towards a small lake and Lapis would always park next to it since apparently it was haunted to some of the neighbors. Exiting the vehicle Lapis threw her jacket into the back seat and smiled as she stretched her arms up. “Ready to have fun ‘babe’?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” The two locked arms with Peridot leaning her head on the bluenette’s shoulder. She had to admit, she loved being against Lapis, many a nights did she sleep on this arm, this shoulder, this woman. Entering the home the duo was welcomed by a semi drunk Amethyst and Garnet who was baby sitting her.

“Hey y’all! Ready to get cray cray?!” Lapis cheered and charged in leaving Peridot to wander around and find Pearl nuzzled into Jasper’s arm.

“Wait, when-”

“Just the other day actually.” Peridot jumped and turned to see a smirking Emerald patting her shoulder. “Been quite sometime eh Peridot?”

“H-Hey Emerald.”

“Relax, I’m not that same bitch I used to be.” Emerald handed a drink to Peridot and rubbed her cheek. “Your still cute though, got any in particular with you tonight?” Peridot stuck her thumb out pointing to Lapis who was doing shots with Aqua and the Pizza twins. “Seriously? Aren’t you two besties?”

“Things happen, you love who you love Emerald.” The taller woman shrugged and congratulated Peridot before making her way around the room conversing with others.

“PERIDOT HIIIIIIII!!!” Pearl called out pulling the blonde into a tight hug and not letting go. “I miss you Peri-hic!-dot! You don’t visit anymore.”

“I’ve been busy lately, forgive me.”

“No worries, just swing by more often ok?” Peridot giggled and returned the embrace getting a chance to get out of Pearl’s grip and join her on the couch. Jasper gave her a wink and the peace sign before returning to her poker game with the others. Peridot looked around seeing all the new faces her friends knew. Had she been gone that long? Then again, it wasn’t like these guys were the most secluded of people. A song came on and she was lifted up by a pair of hands and taken to the dance floor, turning on her heels she scoffed to see Garnet smiling at her and bouncing her leg.

“Care for a dance?” Peridot giggled but joined the taller woman regardless. bouncing and grooving to the beat was enjoyable, Peridot hadn’t done this in a good long while. It had been far far too long since she had this much fun in her life. During the dance the song had changed and someone’s arms snaked around her waist from behind, Lapis had seen Peridot dancing and wanted a bit of fun as well taking the opportunity to claim Peridot for her own as a slower song came on meaning they could sway together.

“Are you drunk already Lazuli? It hasn’t even been five minutes.”

“Shush, I’m not drunk. Gotta be more loving Peri, can’t leave me alone or they won’t buy it!” Peridot shivered at the awkwardness of having her best friend plant soft gentle kissing along her neck.

“Lapis, are you sure this is necessary?”

“Forgive me Peri, I’ll pay you back.” Peridot stayed quiet hearing the tone of Lapis’ voice and simply laced their hands together. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you smile happily y’know?”

“Shut up and dance.” Peridot turned on her heels and held Lapis’ hands as the two swayed in a circle catching a few eyes on them. Lapis wasn’t drunk, Peridot could see it in her eyes she wasn’t drunk from alcohol but… something else was in her eyes. Peridot never looked away and Lapis would smile or giggle at her every time one of them would almost trip over the other. As the music returned to some other style both women walked back over to Pearl and Jasper who were playing a weird mixture of truth or dare, never have I ever, and spin the bottle.

“Garnet!” Jasper roared out! “I dare you to pay my 40 bucks!”

“Not happening Jasp.” a low ‘shit!’ was heard before Garnet spun the bottle once more having it land on Lapis. “Lapis! When did you and Peridot start dating?” Lapis cleared her throat slowly lacing her hand with Peridot’s tightly.

“Been a good month by now hasn’t it Per?” Peridot nodded nuzling into Lapis’ arm and kissing it tenderly. Peridot zoned out for a bit digging through her phone and still clutching on to Lapis. Even if they were only pretending to be dating it still felt nice having someone to call your own, even if it was only for one night. Lapis rested her chin on Peridot’s head and pulled the short blonde into her lap.

“We taking selfies now?”

“Doofus… you want to?” Lapis held a thumbs up and snaked her arms around her ‘girlfriend’s’ waist making a weird face only to return to normal as she got elbowed by the blonde. It was a nice photo, they always took nice photos even the dumb goofy ones were nice.

“Peridot!” The blonde jumped shooting her eyes around the room having them land on the now totally plastered Amethyst. “I dare yeeew to kiss Lapuss!” Peridot chuckled nervously and looked to Lapis for support who lifted the blonde up and pulled her to the closet.

“Not giving you perverts a free show. haha!!!” Jasper and a few others cheered them on as the two locked themselves in the closet sitting down and sighing in relief. “You ok Peri?”

“I’m fine Lapis, how are you holding up?” Lapis had crawled over and laid down on top of Peridot with a giggle.

“I’m doing great…. a little tipsy though…” Peridot groaned and shifted over in hopes of finding comfort.

“Can you get up? Your boobs are crushing my lungs.” Lapis snorted and slowly got up pulling Peridot with her.

“You don’t like my dear Peridot?” Peridot was quiet but patted Lapis’ hand in hopes of comforting her. “Thank you by the way, for agreeing to do this.”

“Why me though? Out of everyone why me?” Lapis stayed still, running her thumb over Peridot’s knuckles and taking small breathes every few moments.

“Because I trust you.” Peridot didn’t speak, she let Lapis do whats she needed to do and scooted over to embrace her best friend. “I… may also… kinda.. like you?” Lapis felt Peridot stiffen and cleared throat letting go of the blonde’s hand and turning away. “Sorry, forget I-”

“No!” Peridot turned Lapis around still unable to see anything and placed her hands on her shoulders. “When?” Lapis kept silent for a bit not speaking until Peridot questioned her once more. “When Lapis?”

“I don’t know, a while back ok? It just… happened. One day your my best friend and then the next day I wanna stick my tongue in your mouth.” Peridot snickered at the comment making Lapis whimper in embarrassment until she felt a quick peck on her cheek.

“Maybe, I like you too?” Lapis gasp lowly and held the hands on her shoulders. “Maybe that’s why I wore the shirt.”

“I was wondering about that myself.” Lapis mumbled running her hand slowly along Peridot’s side and stomach. “You know, they think we’re sucking face in here.”

“Yeah so?” one second, two seconds, three seconds, beep! “SERIOUSLY?!” Lapis snickered and pulled Peridot on top of a box nearby and nuzzling into her neck.

“Wanna mess around?” Peridot burned bright red but Lapis couldn’t see and simply pulled the shorter woman into a deep and loving kiss. Peridot was in a semi state of shock and amazement. This is what kissing felt like? As Lapis tried to pull away Peridot pulled her head back and stole more and more kisses while Lapis’ hands traveled around and stroked the blonde’s back and bottom. Peridot shook and shot her hands downwards going under the fabric of the shirt and gently running her hands above Lapis’ breasts feeling the bluenette’s breath hitch in the middle of the now make-out session.

Before either one could get any farther a knock was heard:

“Hey it’s our turn!” Both women straightened out their clothing and exited the room blushing as Pearl and Jasper whistled at the couple.

“Damn Peri, your a wild one ain’t ya? Making Lapis whine and shit!” Peridot groaned and blushed only to be comforted by Lapis’ embrace and quick soft kiss. The night began to dwindle down to only a handful of people meaning Lapis and Peridot were able to hug and say they’re goodbyes before exiting and heading to the car. Neither one noticed when they locked hands together or when Lapis was shoved into the back seat and being topped by Peridot who was now trying to leave hickeys on her new girlfriend.

“Need music for this.” Lapis whispered pressing play. A familiar song came on and Peridot groaned once more.

“I am not losing my v card to this.”

“You let me violate you..” Lapis sang along only to giggle and change the song to something more indie and caring. Peridot smiled at that and purred as both women removed their clothing and embraced one another. “I love you Peridot.” Both heartbeats were beating rapidly Peridot smiled and blinked back a tear as she kissed her girlfriend deeply.

“I love you too Lapis…”

As Garnet waved off another set of party goers she began to laugh at seeing the car near the lake rock back and forth. The tall woman rolled her eyes with a grin and returned to the couch where she winked at Jasper being pulled into the bedroom by Pearl. Garnet was happy for her friends and felt happy just simply cuddling her best friend Amethyst as she slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lapis trying to get laid to Nine Inch Nails lol. The song she changed it to was Tension by Adventures in case you wanted to know.


	3. A Taste of Excitement. (PearlTheKnight)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lonely life of a private investigator was monotonous at best, Lapis Lazuli was painfully aware of it, cheating spouses didn’t cut it for her anymore and even her whiskey had lost its appeal. That is until the shy blonde walked into her office, begging the PI to date her for a night.   
> Written for the Valentine’s Day challenge from the Lapidot’s Writers Guild, different takes on the same prompt “Fake Dating”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people, I bring you my take on the prompt, I hope you like it because I had a lot of fun writing this.

_1957, Empire City._

The night was clear and peaceful, not even her loud neighbors were having their usual fighting upstairs. Lapis wished it were raining, that way she could have listened to it while shutting the blinds half way, so that the streetlight would entered just enough on her face when smoking her cigar. The blue haired woman always said she had an image to maintain, but truth be told, she just closed her eyes and pretended to be on a Humphrey Bogart movie, where exciting things happen. 

But alas, detective Lazuli just served herself the strongest bourbon she could find in her cupboard and started sorting the recently developed pictures of the husbands and wives that couldn’t keep it in their pants, to write reports about them to her clients. Time seemed to move at a snail’s pace, no random, upset divorcee ready to punch her in the face could be seen around; _at least they would put me out of my misery for a few hours_. When the blue haired woman had just poured her third glass of the night, a desperate knock on her door made her snap out of her mindless task. 

She staggered towards the door confused as to who could it be, it was too late for clients to visit and too quiet for people looking for revenge. Lapis took a moment to compose herself, tucking her white shirt in and adjusting her suspenders, but the alcohol was finally catching up to her. Resigned, she just opened the door and tried to look presentable.

“Mirror Investigations, how can I help you?” The blue haired woman mentally high fived herself over the fact that her voice wasn’t slurred. Stepping aside, she let her visitor come in. She was hunched; a black hooded coat covered her while she nervously fidgeted with the hem of her sweater. It wasn’t rare that her clients felt self-conscious about soliciting her services, so she motion for the woman to take a seat while the detective returned to her desk.

Lapis was putting away her bourbon when her visitor uncovered her face. She’ll never admit it but at that time, all her dignity went flying out the window. She was completely stunning; her messy blonde hair dropped to her shoulders, pointing everywhere, framing her features delicately as if she were royalty, her rosy pursed lips showed signs of exhaustion, but her green eyes hidden behind huge glasses were awake, actively taking everything in. The woman was also properly dressed for a lady, skirt just below the knees, and a pale yellow shirt underneath her pastel sweater. For a moment Lazuli forgot how to breath, having the unexpected urge to sent whoever was cheating on her straight to the hospital. 

The woman cleared her voice in an attempt to unfreeze her from the state the detective was after seeing her. She pointedly looked at the raunchy pictures the PI still had on top of her desk and she hurried to put them all away, flushing worse than a schoolgirl on her first date. Lapis Lazuli is smooth with the ladies, said no one ever. 

“Are you Lapis Lazuli, the private investigator?” Her voice was nasal and shaky, but just like her eyes, it had something buried underneath it all, a layer of darkness that the casual observer would never catch. 

“That’s me, what can I do for you this fine evening?” Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe she was just dumb, but Lapis tried to give her the best charming smile she had. The woman still looked tired, but the detective could tell that she was more amused, but not wanting to show it. 

“My name is Peridot Green and I’m here for a rather… odd request” Her shaking hands took a folded piece of paper from the pocket of her coat and slid it across the table. “I need you to date me”

The bluntness of her statement made Lapis do a double take. “I’m afraid I can’t help you with that, we are a reputable business despite what Jasper may say” She was starting to believe this was a joke, it was hard enough for a woman to have her own startup without the rumors of her being a prostitute flying around. It was either that, or her meathead ex had probably sent a pretty lady to mess with her.

“Please, pardon me, I never meant to imply that your business was a brothel” The blonde woman rapidly raised her arms, she motioned for her to keep reading the card she had given the detective before. It was an invitation for a Valentine’s Day celebration in loving memory of General Rose Quartz, organized by the Crystal Gems Veteran Association, to be held in two days. “No, I have reason to believe that I will be the subject to an attempt on my life that day and I want you as my bodyguard”

“Why do you think that’s a possibility?” Lazuli was suddenly very interested, this was outside her usual wheelhouse, but it sounded just like what she needed to get some action in her life. The added bonus of saving her very own damsel in distress wasn’t entirely unappreciated. 

“I’m sure you’re aware that the Crystal Gems members are more than just idle veterans that hang around telling war stories, right?... Although Pearl does that a lot” Ms. Green smiled at her own joke, her original exhaustion was a lot more subdued, replaced now by a fondness and a little exasperation directed at them. 

“Yes, I am very aware of their… dealings” To be honest, Lapis had never been too keen on either their group or whoever they were fighting now to defend this country. Corruption run deep in the underbelly, even when you claimed to be fighting for the good guys, and she had seen first hand that they were no better than the scum they tried to clean. _I’m no angel, but at least I don’t pretend to be one either._

“Two years ago, I was sent here by the party to gather information but, what can I say? I fell in love with America right away” Now that she mentioned it, Lapis could definitely hear the smallest hint of a Russian accent in her voice. The fact that she used to be a spy would also explain the underlying darkness the blue haired woman could sense in her eyes. “I joined them, betrayed Yelena Diamond, and even called her a clod, so now I’m on her hit list”

“And why do you want me to date you?” It wasn’t like Lazuli didn’t want to do it, she was gorgeous to say the least and the detective was only a useless lesbian, but she had to remember that this was a professional relationship.

“I want us to pretend to be dating” The blonde corrected her softly but with a glint in her eyes. It sent shivers down Lapis’ spine, she had to get a grip on herself “If they see me with a bodyguard they’ll probably won’t try anything, and I want to see who the mole is. If we say you’re my girlfriend nobody will suspect anything.”

“Ms. Green…” 

“Please, call me Peridot, we are going to have to look closer than that” God, the sparks of confidence (and maybe flirting?) were killing her.

Lapis cleared her throat and continued “Peridot, have you thought this plan through? Maybe I’m not the best candidate for the job, I have very little experience fighting people” 

“Lapis?” She said, asking if she could use Lazuli’s first name to which she just nodded; there was no reality in which the detective would have said no “I’ve done my research and I think you’re the best candidate, you don’t look threatening but I know about the one or two people you’ve sent to the hospital”

The slight edge on her voice when saying that, as if Lapis had wounded her pride when doubting her ability to choose a bodyguard, made her smile. It was true that the blue haired woman had been in her fair share of bar brawls, but the amount of times she had sent someone to the hospital was just as high as the times Lapis had been there herself “And won’t the people at the party think it’s weird that you’re dating a woman?” 

The amused smile on the blonde’s face was full force now that knocked the air out of the detective’s lungs “Have you met the Crystal Gems members? I don’t think you have to worry about anything” Lapis chuckled at that and surprised herself when she was actually considering taking the job, if only to see her again “Besides I could pay you a very generous salary” She slid another piece of paper through her desk that contained a number that would keep her and Mirror Investigations running for at least another year. 

“When can I pick you up?” Lapis asked, any remaining doubts gone from her mind. 

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll come by here at seven the day after tomorrow” They both stood up at the same time and walked towards the door, the detective was about to open it when Peridot suddenly hugged her, stretching her arms to put them around Lapis’ neck, scratching lightly in a way that had her weak on the knees “Thank you so much for helping me” The blue haired woman could only nod, dumbfounded, and watch her go. 

“I’m probably going to have a heart attack before the end of the week” To be honest, if a face that beautiful was the last thing she ever saw, then Lazuli would have died a happy woman. 

********

Maybe, just maybe she had gone overboard this time. She hadn’t been planning on it really, it just happened, considering Lapis only had two days to get everything ready. The first matter that had to be address was what would she wear; The blue haired woman chose a tux instead of ball dress because if things ever got physical, experience had taught her that kicking someone in the balls is a lot easier when her legs were not constraint with so much cloth; and besides, the detective always thought that she looked smoking hot in those. Not that she was trying to impress her client in any way. 

Lapis strapped her trusty Colt to the inside of her jacket and prayed to all the gods she didn’t believe in that she wouldn’t need to use it. Lazuli had finished all her pending matters, delivered the pictures to her clients, escaped somebody trying to run her over with a car after that, and even bought groceries at the local market, all the while buzzing with anticipation like she hadn’t felt since she started this forsaken job. 

The detective was giving the finishing touches to her normally messy blue hair, now slick back into an small puff on top, falling softly on the back of her neck, when she heard the knock on her door that signaled that her ride was here. Lazuli opened the door and saw her standing there, red dress tight enough to be formfitting, but loose enough that nobody could have complaint that it wasn’t appropriate for a lady. Her smooth short pale legs shone in contrast with the fierceness of the color of her dress, but what drew the detective’s attention completely was her face, the same sweet face that she had been thinking about for two days. 

Now, fully prepared to the blast of beauty she was going to get, Lapis could react quicker than last time and offer her arm to her, which Peridot took without hesitance. A mysterious smile appeared on her lips while they moved towards her car. Out of professional concerned, the blue haired woman decided to find out more about her before they reached their destination. 

“So tell about you, you know, in case someone asks” Lapis quickly added, anxious that her client might take her interest the wrong way. “What do you do now that you’re settled in America?”

“Oh! Nothing as exciting as being a private investigator” Peridot told her, glancing at her out of the corner of her eye. 

“Believe me, the glamour fades away pretty fast” The detective responded with more than a little bit of self-deprecation.

“I’m sure you’ve had more excitement on your everyday work than me in my whole life”

“You were a Russian spy that betrayed the Kremlin! There’s no way I’ve had a more interesting life”

“I was a Russian spy only in name, I just came here to check on the American lifestyle, I never had proper training or anything, but I did get to fly on a plain though” The blonde looked extremely happy of that achievement; and to be fair Lapis admired her, she had always dreamed about flying herself but the prices were too expensive for a broke private investigator “See? You’re a lot more captivating than me, why don’t you tell me how you got that scar, for example”

“This?” Lazuli asked blushing profusely pointing at a small scar she had right above her eyebrow. Anyone hardly ever noticed it. “This was just a dumb moment when I was a kid. I dove into a lake near my house and crashed face first on the bottom” 

“That’s horrible” Peridot seemed genuinely concerned about that, she stopped at a red light and softly tapped her fingers on the healed patch of skin beside her eye.

“It really wasn’t that bad” Coyness took over the detective, who wasn’t used to getting easily flustered “I had it coming, I did it despite my mom warning me not to because I was trying to look tough. At least now I don’t have to tell anybody that I have a thick skull, they can just see it”

“You look more like a softy to me, but I have to agree, it does give you a ruggedly handsome look” The smirk on the short woman’s face told Lapis that she was fully aware of the effect her words had on the blue haired woman. It made her wonder if there was another reason why she was chosen for the job. Trying to ignore her intrusive thoughts, Lapis was about to ask another question when they got to the party. 

They exited the car, and, once again, the detective offered her arm to the blonde to walk inside the grand palace. The Crystal Gems Veteran Association headquarters was an old, spotless building, with high ceilings, marvel pillars and walls adorned with a mix of paintings of those fallen in the war and old classics. Their coats were taken by a bored looking employee that showed them the way to the main event. 

“Fancy, isn’t it?” Peridot asked Lapis when her dumbfounded face gave her away. 

“Yeah” It was all she could say before a loud noise startled her.

“Hey! P-dot” A short woman in a stunning purple dress came running to them to greet her client. The blonde was about to extend her hand, when she was engulfed in bone crushing hug. Although Peridot looked outwardly annoyed, Lapis could see the warmth underneath. “It’s so good to see you, how have you been?”

“Well, I was able to breath just a minute ago, but you don’t seem to like that, Amethyst”

“Always a sourpuss” Amethyst said finally releasing her victim, then she turned around and set her eyes on Lapis “P-dot, is this your mystery girlfriend, that I’ve heard absolutely nothing about until yesterday?”

“Yes, Amethyst, this is Lapis Lazuli, my girlfriend” Peridot said with a fake annoyance in her voice, smirking a little when her friend gave a low whistle.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said she was gorgeous”

“I really wasn’t” _Did she really say that?_ The blonde was making it harder to concentrate on the job, confidence was the way to Lazuli’s heart after all. 

The detective went beat red and awkwardly extended her arm for a handshake “It’s a pleasure to meet you”

“I wouldn’t talk about pleasure so early in the evening” Amethyst responded with a wink, wanting to tease the blue haired woman, after seeing how flustered she got.

“Oh God, please stop” Peridot took her fake girlfriends hand and started walking away from the short woman as fast as she could “I think somebody is calling us from over there, far away from here”

“Sure, you two go to the dark corner of the room, I’ll make sure you’re not disturbed” The woman shouted, loud enough for everyone around them to notice and for the fleeing pair to blush intensely.

They both walked all the way across the room to get some refreshments. A cup of champagne was served to them while they awkwardly stood next to each other, not really knowing what to say. When the silence had turned unbearable, Lapis cleared her throat in an attempt to catch the blonde’s attention “Is Amethyst also a part of the Crystal Gems?”

“Yes, she is. It’s quite a contrast between her and all of this, isn’t it?” Said Peridot while making a vague gesture with her hand around the room. 

“Not a lot of people fit in this place.” The detective’s humble origins being very present in her mind “Hell, I’m pretty sure I don’t fit in”

“Bullshit, you look as if you were born to be here” The sheer conviction behind the short woman’s voice almost made her cry, it had been a good long time since somebody had complemented her in such a way. A hand softly brushed her cheek, while another hand took hers and led Lapis towards the dancing floor. 

“You barely know me”

“I may have done a little more research than what I led you to believe” Part of the blue haired woman’s brain was very concerned about that revelation, but the moment those tiny hands were positioned in her waist, it was the death of any coherent thought she had “Besides, you are worth ten times more than anything here, the paintings around look fancy, but they are cheap knock offs. Pearl likes to keep the appearances, but I’m sure they spend their money in more intelligent ways”

“How do you know that?” They had started moving slowly to the waltz, Peridot leading while the detective just let herself go, not realizing until that moment that she knew how to dance. _Or maybe I just needed a good partner._

“It’s pretty easy to spot, for example, that painting over there” The blonde pointed with her chin, never stopping their movement “It has plywood, but it says that it was made in the United States in 1834. There wasn’t any plywood here until 1865”

“How do you know all that stuff? That was amazing” Lazuli said in awe, looking deeply into her client’s eyes. The whole party seemed to fade away for a moment. 

“Not as amazing as you” And Peridot stood on her tiptoes and clashed her lips with the private investigator’s. It was sweet, and slow, and it left both out of breath. It was also comfortable, the anticipation and the nerves never getting in the way. The continued to kiss, savoring every moment until the song ended and they finally separated. 

“Wow” It was all Lapis could say, her mind was going on overdrive and couldn’t quite form any cohesive thought after that. 

“Wow, indeed” The blonde said while cleaning lipstick stains from the corner of her mouth. “I have to go to the bathroom to fix this for a moment” Lazuli only nodded like a fool and watched her go, not entirely sure she wasn’t dreaming. 

The detective made her way to the bar and ordered bourbon on the rocks, she needed it so badly to keep her hands from shaking. She sat right next to a hunched woman who looked as though she was on her fourth whiskey of the night; she was wearing a formal military uniform with many decorations on her chest. She also looked incredibly sad for such lively party.

“Hey, got a drinking buddy now?” The strawberry blonde woman turned to Lapis when she sensed her arrival. Her voice was slurred and her eyes unfocused, it took her a moment to stop swaying.

“Not really, just here for one”

“That’s a shame, we could have toasted to the war!”

“I don’t think that’s something we should toast about” Lapis frown, desperately wanting to get away from another former soldier who missed the thrill of the killing. 

“Maybe so, but during the war it was the only time I really felt like I mattered” It was hard to understand what she was saying, but the sadness in her face prevented Lapis from walking away. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m anything after that… after her… God, what kind of fucking person am I that I can’t get used to civilian life”

“Hey, it’s OK” Lapis patted her awkwardly on the back while the former soldier silently cried and finished the last of her whiskey.

“Thanks, I’m Pearl by the way” The strawberry blond woman made an attempt to shake her hand, but would have fallen if the detective hadn’t caught her on time. “Sorry, you must be Peridot’s girlfriend, I saw you two dancing a while ago”

“Yeah, that’s me” It felt uncomfortable to continue the lie after that wonderful kiss. Maybe, if she played her cards right, it wouldn’t have to be a lie for much longer. 

“Peridot is a good girl, you take care of her” Despite being drunk out of her ass, Pearl’s voice held a warmth towards the little blonde that it took Lapis aback for a second “She’s so brave, after being sent here to blow out this country with the cluster, she just stood the fuck up against the commies and told Yelena Diamond to fuck off”

The blue haired woman had stopped listening to the ramblings of the drunk Crystal Gem a minute before, mulling over a particular piece of information that didn’t sit well with everything else she knew. There was no way that Peridot had been sent here to detonate the Cluster, the biggest bomb in the history of America, having no training. It was ludicrous to believe that the soviets would send someone inexperienced for such important mission, unless…

No, that couldn’t be right, why would she lie to Lapis? More so, why would she need her help if she was a trained spy? Surely she wouldn’t need a poor excuse of a bodyguard. But things were piling up, the detective thought of the amount of money she was promised, the times she had so seamlessly avoided answering what she did for a living or how she knew so much about painting. Hell, even knowing that much about old paintings and history, by itself, debunked her story about being just a regular woman. _I don’t know what game she’s playing, but I sure as hell I’m gonna find out_

She ran away leaving an unaware Pearl to keep ranting about the good old days of the Crystal Gem battalion lead by the unmatched Rose Quartz. Lapis checked the bathroom first, still wanting to believe she was wrong. When the detective saw it was empty, she started running all around the mansion until she found a door that had obviously been forced open. Silently, Lazuli took her pistol out and, taking a few breaths to calm herself, she barged into the office, unprepared to what came next. 

Lapis didn’t even know what hit her; all she was aware of was her running inside one moment and the other falling on the floor face first, her gun lost somewhere outside of her reach. Small feet walked in her line of vision, away from her, which gave her enough space to sit up somewhat. 

“I was starting to wonder if you’d figure it out” Peridot’s face was pleased to see her employee at her feet. She was holding a gun at her while holding a stack of papers on her other.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” That was all Lazuli thought of asking, it was the only thing she could think of. 

“Shhhh, keep your voice down” The femme fatale chastised her like one would a child having a tantrum. “Well, I needed a distraction to get the papers. Nobody would follow me after that display on the dance floor” 

Lapis felt like the stupidest person on earth at the moment, it was so obvious now “Why me as a distraction? You could have used anything else as a distraction”

“To be honest, the job gets boring at times and you’re excellent eye candy” Peridot approached her, still holding the gun, while the blue haired woman tried to scoot away from her as much as she dared “Also, I wasn’t kidding when I said I had been watching you for quite sometime” Their eyes met and again that electricity that had run through them all night, that same feeling that had started two days ago, came to the surface instantly. 

Neither of them knew who approached the other first, but they kissed fiercely and with passion, biting, sucking, not really caring about being gentle with the other. There was hunger and desperation and anger behind that kiss that it was hard not to get completely lost in it. When they finally pulled apart, they both had huge dilated pupils, bodies begging for more. 

Peridot stood up and cleaned the blood from the corner of her lip where Lapis had bitten her a little too roughly. She tossed a piece of paper to the disheveled detective on the floor and said “I’ll be back in three months from now with a new name, meet me at that address if you want to see where this could go”

And with that the mysterious client jumped out the window, escaping with important documents from the Crystal Gems and leaving a bewildered Lapis Lazuli to deal with a lot of conflicting feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you think either good or bad, feedback never fails to brighten up my day. If you want to get in touch, my Tumblr is @youngclostedlesbian   
> Take care!


	4. Wasn't The Plan (TwinCarcino)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They each had their own reasons as to why they agreed to this plan, to fake being together. It was only supposed to be a temporary arrangement, until both their end goals were achieved. Yet, she didn't like that plan anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, hope you like my contribution, it's a bit shorter than the others I see, but I hope you still enjoy. Also a quick apology for how I portray Pearl (Or rather, how Lapis sees Pearl as) in here. Don't take that as me hating her.

She wasn’t sure what to expect, not sure what was supposed to happen, but, as Lapis stared at her reflection in the mirror she realized that she sure as Hell was certain whatever was going on, it wasn’t supposed to be _this_.

Today was Valentine’s Day, it was also the mark of her and Peridot’s two month anniversary. Well, technically it was, and technically it wasn’t at the same time.

After all, they had to be dating to have an anniversary, and her and Peridot were not dating. Well, not really. So, in all actuality, today was the two month anniversary of their partnership, not their relationship, because they didn’t have one. Lapis had to keep beating that bit into her head.

They were not dating. They were not dating. Come on, Lapis, get it together.

Two months ago her and Peridot had concocted a plan. They were both gay and they both had their own lady troubles, though different types of course. Peridot wanted to get the attention of Pearl captain of the robotics club she was in, high school valedictorian in training, little miss perfect and her biggest crush. Honestly, Lapis didn’t get what Peridot saw in her, but Peridot wanted to get Pearl to notice her, and make Pearl jealous. Lapis on the other hand had the exact opposite problem.

Her being single made her a prime target for Jasper, a woman she was very intent on not dating, and having a girlfriend, even if fake, had Jasper back off considerably.

That was all it was supposed to be, really. She and Peridot fake being girlfriends until their problems could be solved. She supposed the plan was working to some degree on her 'girlfriends' side of things, as Pearl was speaking to Peridot more, the surprise of her and Lapis' sudden relationship had apparently caught the skinny nerds interest and now she wanted to know how this even happened, as though it was something impossible, as though it was something unnatural.

It pissed Lapis off the way she looked at them when they were together, like she was trying to figure out how the two, who were complete opposites, could wind up together. But, Peridot seemed to like the sudden attention Pearl was throwing their way, so, Lapis figured she should be happy for her friend.

Except, Lapis wasn’t.

The idea that Peridot might actually be able to start something with Pearl had begun to leave a bitter taste in her mouth.

It wasn’t that Lapis hated Pearl, sure she wouldn't want to go and hang out with her unless there were plenty of other people around, and Pearl certainly wasn't her favorite person in the world, for many reasons. Among them was that she cried too much, had to always be in charge or in control and had a habit of being somewhat manipulative as seen in her past relationships with Rose and Garnet, and was annoyingly controlling.

Lapis couldn't for the life of her even begin to understand how Rose and Garnet still saw Pearl as a good friend after all that she did to her, from when Rose who never even saw her as a romantic partner began pursuing a relationship with Greg, and how Pearl manipulated Garnet to stick around. Lapis sure wouldn’t want anything to do with Pearl if she had been in either of their shoes.

But she had tried to pass that awful gut wrenching feeling she got whenever Peridot talked about Pearl with such obvious admiration, her feelings painfully obvious as that she just didn’t think Pearl was good enough for someone like Peridot.

Because she really wasn’t. Peridot deserved someone who would treat her right, who wouldn’t be on her case all the time about all the small things.Peridot didn’t need someone who’d yell at her for being a bit disorganized, didn’t need someone who’d cry or manipulate if she thought she was losing her as girlfriend.  Pearl just wasn’t good enough for Peridot who deserved the best.

It had been two weeks ago on one of their fake dates when Lapis realized that no one was going to be good enough for Peridot in her mind.

The two had just been laughing and talking at the time, Peridot had looked so animated, so happy as she talked about some nerdy programing thing that went completely over Lapis’ head. But Peridot looked so bright as she talked and Lapis had found herself mesmerized by it all, by Peridot.

Those eyes, that smile, just looking at it made her heart speed up, left butterflies in her stomach.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror and put a hand to her face as she felt her body heat up just thinking of Peridot, her heart fluttering in her chest and feelings she shouldn’t be feeling strong as ever.

It was never part of the plan, never something they were supposed to do, but fuck it, Lapis had fallen in love with Peridot. She didn’t want these to be fake dates anymore, didn’t want Peridot to be her fake girlfriend, she didn’t want _any_ part of this relationship of theirs to be pretend. Lapis wanted it to be real.

When did she fall for Peridot? Lapis didn’t know. Would Peridot even notice when the things Lapis did with her or for her became sincere, rather than being for show like they had been before? She wanted Peridot to understand how she felt, but knowing the lovable nerd, Peridot wasn’t going to understand unless someone threw it in her face.

But that wasn’t going to mean that Lapis wasn’t going to try.

There was a faint knock on her door and Lapis turned her head away from her reflection, "Lapis, honey, Peridot's downstairs ready to pick you up," her mother said in that quiet, but powerful voice of hers. Peridot was downstairs, the thought of how the blonde must be dressed, probably in that cute green suit with the red bowtie if Lapis had to guess, it made her heart beat a little faster and her face warm up. 

"Coming!" She quickly grabbed her bag and checked her appearance once more in the mirror, as though there may be one fatal flaw in the makeup or hair, before hurrying out of her room.

It was Valentine’s Day, the two were supposed to go to the school dance together and Lapis had a plan. She was going to get Peridot to fall in love with her, and she wasn’t going to stop until she’d won over that adorable nerds heart the same way that Peridot had won hers.

Falling in love with her fake girlfriend wasn’t part of the plan, but Lapis wouldn’t want to fall for anyone else.


	5. Rhythm is a Dancer (MyFairAlice)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night clubbing brings strangers together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter by MyFairAlice  
> @ someonebutnotyou.tumblr.com

Music blaring, lights flickering, bass hammering in your ear drums. Inaudible lyrics, that you only know by heart, but couldn’t make out otherwise.

The dance floor: a sea of people pressed awkwardly close to each other, just barely leaving enough space for equally awkward dance moves. But as daze-inducing as the music is and with enough alcohol involved, nobody really cares anyway. Too focused on oneself, how they move, how they present themselves to a potential dance partner – whatever that “dance” might include. Others completely unaware of their surroundings; lost in the eyes of another, moving at the same rhythm, a dance neither of them has practiced beforehand, despite it being so harmonious, so perfect, right in this moment.

Newcomers can still smell the cloud of sweat and heat and not-kid-friendly beverages; the ones that are here for some time already are used to the air, not even able to take it in any more – all other senses occupied to the brim.

The room is big, roof high to enable the mesmerizing light show, the only thing engulfing the dark area in colors and light – except for the emergency exit and bar to further attract more drinking, as well as giving the bartenders a chance to actually see what they are hectically giving out or mixing.

 

Peridot is sitting a little far off, close enough to the bar to get another drink in mere seconds, but still in a quieter part of the club, not surrounded by too many people, with the perfect overview of the dance floor. Only single pairs or groups occupying the few tables around her, those who just need a small break from dancing and/or drinking. It’s supposed to be the VIP lounge – but no-one’s here to check anyway.

The blonde takes another sip of her drink, carefully observing the crowd, taking in every change of mood to various songs and their different parts. It really is fascinating when you take your time to really look at people; body language and gazes are such telling aspects. Even from afar.

Like that small little curly blonde girl being visibly awkward as she dances in the corner with her friends; she has rhythm and knows how to move, that much is clear after focusing on her small gestures rather than passing by her overall picture – controlled enough to not seem sloppy, but loose enough to make it seem easy, flowing. Too bad she doesn’t allow herself to go all out, only throwing glances at the higher plattforms on which you can dance on as well – you get the same clear view that Peridot gets to enjoy right now, but you can be seen by the whole crowd beneath you as well in return. What sounds like a nightmare to some seems to be what the slightly chubby girl is longing for, something you probably would’ve never guessed otherwise.

And Peridot is filled with a wave of second-hand proudness, when she spots her finally grabbing her lanky friend’s hand and dragging him up the stairs to said plattforms, after at least an hour of pining. At first he seems even more awkward than the girl before, while she lets loose completely, finally showing off what she’s got. After she grabs his hand again, however, they both unfreeze together; moving freely like the wind, still a little stiff, but in a cute and beautiful was, in Peridot’s eyes. Music is such a wonderful thing, bringing people together.

The third drink for Peridot that night and just under an hour till midnight … she came alone, she’s still alone, drinking from her glass, and she will continue to be alone throughout the night until she finish–

“There you are!”

Her eyes lock with those of a tanned woman walking up the stairs, straight up to her. The stranger wears a tight mini dress, hugging all the right curves and showing off her long legs, ending in simple black ankle strap heels. Not really what Peridot would choose for a night out to dance, but it does look stunning. Even more so is her short, chopped hair – it is difficult to make out in the dim light, but the sporadic beams of light being sent through the room give away an unnatural blue tint, that can’t be just the colored light. “Not too bad of a sight, but what does she want from me? I’m not even on yet …”, Peridot’s mind calmly tries to put the pieces together.

Behind her trails a tall guy with short dark brown her, visibly annoyed. Blue polo shirt with a loose, white scarf – who wears a scarf to dance? Or just to an overheating club in general?

As the couple draws closer, Peridot already mentally prepares to clear up any mix up or choke off any early reque–

“Hey, babe, miss me?” Without a warning, the woman is straddling her. A quick kiss to her cheek, a hand buried in her hair – the air overtaken by her flowery perfume, clouding Peri’s thoughts even more. “Thanks for guiding me, but can you give us some privacy now?”, she throws into the guy’s direction, inching even closer to the blonde on the last note.

Huffing and demonstratively putting his hands on his hips, he gives both women an angry expression, before turning around and walking down the stairs again. Peridot is completely frozen at that point.

“I’m so, so sorry!”, the stranger exclaims, jumping off of her lap as quickly as she climbed it. “That guy has been creeping me out the whole night already, not even letting go off me when I was with my friends.”

Peridot suddenly feels very hot, despite only wearing a simple T-shirt. Still trying to seem casual, she grabs her drink and takes a sip, “No problem, really.”

“He wouldn’t retreat when I told him I was gay. On a Gay Night. Can you imagine?” Peridot’s features give in to her reluctance, sadly those stories aren’t too uncommon … “And I kinda told him that my girlfriend would arrive soon … and you seemed approachable and nice enough to play along … sorry, again!” The woman lowers her head a little, sorrowful expression on her face.

Seeing the stranger get so down on herself for something that wasn’t her fault breaks Peridot’s heart a little … time to try to cheer her up in the most Peridot-way of all. Being a clod. “I seemed nice and approachable, huh?”

The blue haired woman looks up again to be greeted by a complacent smirk. Peridot wouldn’t be able to make it out in these lighting conditions, but that managed to get blood into her cheeks. Despite her own beliefs, Peridot isn’t a bad looking woman either. Actually pretty cute, with messy blonde hair and her casual, kind of boy-ish way of dressing.

“Well, nice and approachable enough at least”, the stranger answers while straightening up again, arms crossing and a fake pout on her lip as she looks away towards the dance floor. Peridot’s snickering gets her to loosen up rather quickly, though, “Say, can I apologize again by offering to pay for the next drink?”

Peridot shoots her an amused grin, “Sounds great, but I don’t really drink tonight”, she holds up the glass containing a dark liquid, “Just caffeine to stay awake”, she explains.

 “Oh …”, an understanding hum as she looks to the empty chair across the table, “Anything against some company then? People say I can be just as stirring as those stimulants.”

“By all means, be my guest.”

“So, you’re sitting alone in a club, not even dancing, but trying to stay awake, why is that?”, she asks and sits down, not letting Peri out of her sight.

“I have to work shortly. Don’t wanna be drunk for that, wouldn’t seem to professional, no?”

The stranger raises an eyebrow.

“I’m the DJ from midnight to end.”

Sudden curiosity is overtaking the woman across from her, “Oh! And what are you doing here all this time already then?”

Exactly the question Peridot has waited for, but kind of feared as well. “Okay, it may sound weird … but I like to take in the crowd, how they act and what they like, to fine-tune my set.” Another raised eyebrow. “It’s true! No two nights or two crowds are ever the same. You can’t just connect your Spotify and set it to shuffle, even if you made the playlist.”

“Hmm … I suppose … but is there really that much science behind it?”

A shrug from Peridot, she’s now leaning onto the table, playing with the straw in her drink. “More of a feeling. I’m not a professional, to be honest, but I like to try to do my best, and that’s what works for me.”

“That answer I actually buy, Ms. DJ. So what do you do full-time then?” At this time, both of them have an equally cocky tone to their voice and smirk on their lips, eyes fixed on each other.

“I’m still studying. You?”

“Same. Dance.”

“What a great night for you then.”

“That depends on your music selection.”

There’s an outright grin on Peridot’s face right now. Feisty girls just get to her in the best way possible.

“Anyway, I’m still sorry about my entrance. Even if you don’t drink alcohol, can I get you another Coke or something?”, the stranger asks again.

“U-uhm …”, a quick look at her watch, “I would love to, but my shift starts in about half an hour and I should probably get over to the DJ booth and get accustomed to the tech.” Oh, how she hates that answer herself …

“Pretty at the last minute, don’t you think?”

A sorry smile on Peri’s lips. “Most clubs that let non-professional students behind their booths actually have about the same level of equipment. Also it would’ve been sooner, if there wasn’t a mysterious beauty throwing herself at me.”

“Beautiful, you say?”

The movement are quick; a small piece of paper ripped from her notepad she always kept on herself in case of electric deficiency. Numbers fly across and she hands it to the stranger. “Look, if you’re up for a coffee date or something, I’d be down after this. Well, not directly after, but in a few days maybe.”

A mixture of disbelief and content washes over her face as she takes the note. “Great! Yeah, in a few days … wait. You do mean that in a gay way, right?”

“Yes, in a gay way”, repressing a snicker, Peridot stands up and is about to say her goodbye.

“What’s your name by the way, stranger?”

“Peridot, your’s?”

“Lapis. Nice to meet you. And I can’t wait to listen to what you’ve picked for today”, she grants her one of the most beautiful smiles Peri has ever witnessed.

“Oh, believe me, I got great inspiration. You better show off your dance moves!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snap!’s “Rhythm is a Dancer” is probably one of my favorite songs to listen to when going out to a club. Great bass, amazing rhythm to dance to (would be shame if not – with a title like that), lyrics to sing/scream along to, and 90s nostalgia. Just imagine the ground and air vibrating to the beat and letting yourself surrender to the music. It’s fun.
> 
> And I finally got to incorporate that dialogue prompt I’ve been pining over for close to a year *-*  
> http://someonebutnotyou.tumblr.com/post/159896623192/person-a-person-b-do-you-want-to-get-coffee
> 
> Thanks for reading ♡


	6. Gotta Make It Convincing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the Lapidot Writers guild - a discord for Lapidot writers and such- we got a prompt and decided all of us would do the same one, and see how each of them come out. Prompt for this one is fake Dating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright hope you all enjoy this one. Tried to make it fun and such so here we go. (Adojo!@#!!!@)

                “So… Lazuli why are you here?” An authoritative voice shot down the table that was lathered with food.

                “Mom…” Peridot looked up to a tall looming woman underneath a large chandelier that dominated the air. A blue business suit was what the woman always wore while Peridot was the complete opposite with a dull grey hoody. Both woman shared long unruly blonde hair.

                “Silence I want to hear it from her.” Ms. Diamond cut off Peridot from speaking and then Peridot saw something truly terrifying.

                Her mother was scary but the look she saw on her friend Lazuli’s face was oh so much more terrifying. When you know someone for so long you can tell when something clicks in their mind. A match that finally catches a flame, or a cog that finally starts to spin. This small toothy grin that her blue haired friend held was the same one that she got suspended for.

                That a teacher nearly hit her over, that screaming was merely laughed off. _Dear god please no… please have mercy._ Peridot’s prayers never showed results as Lapis looked deep into emerald green eyes shone through several generations.

                “I just wanted to spend the day with my girlfriend.”

                “What?” Ms. Diamond shouted out, Peridot sat with her jaw falling. Her back was luckily to her mother so that she couldn’t see the disbelief in her face.  Lapis sat with her hands beneath the table and calm expression as if the whole world already knew this lie.

                “Well… this happens to be our one month anniversary as well. It’s very important.” _Hey that last bit sounded sarcastic._ “And.”

                “It is her fathers’ birthday, which comes first over your childish… relationship.”

                “Maybe to you but it’s our first valentine’s day and one month come on.” Lapis tried to continue past the rude cut off that mother did.

                “Young lady if you want to stay in this household you better hold your tongue, my word is law.”

                “Yes mo-.” Lapis tried to speak back before getting interrupted by the young blonde.

                “Lapis, I need to borrow you for one second.” Peridot said nearly pulling Lapis from the chair she resided in. Lapis wore a nice deep blue skirt that faded to black waves at the bottom, on top was a black jacket that hid her small figure.

                “Woah… Yes love...?” Peridot gazed back and Lapis’ eyes were not on her but on her mother with a glare.

                “ _What the hell?”_ Peridot whispered as they turned the corner. Peridot felt like her body was slowly being filled with cement the more she stood still and watched the worse her life was becoming with frozen veins. She had to act. “What are you doing?” Peridot nearly yelled.

                “Clearly someone didn’t think this through.” Lapis wouldn’t look Peridot in the eyes as the spoke.

                “Why would you lie and say that we’re dating?” Peridot begged for an answer to only receive a shug as an answer.

                “Honey I need to see you immediately.” Mother began politely yelling across towards the hallway. Peridot’s shoulders spiked up at her voice, pulling her hand together till it pointed an inch away from Lapis’ nose.

                “We’ll finish this conversation later.” She growled as she walked back to the living room.

                “Now you sound just like your mom.” Lapis snickered as she made her comment. _What was I expecting, she’s a fucking problem child. I knew I shouldn’t have taken her home… She looked so lonely though. Arg._ With a tail between her legs Peridot walked in the room, her shoulders immensely tense as if they held guitar strings holding her bones together. Along with that her movements were definitely out of tune with fear.

                “Dear… I won’t ask you to send your… Really Peridot Diamond that’s your girlfriend? I imaged so much different from a daughter of mine. Who is going to continue our family now? Do you ever think…?” Mother had cut herself off with her fingers grinding into her temple. “Missy give us just one minute!” Her mother politely yelled causing Peridot to peer behind her shoulder, Lapis was grumpily looking at them.

                “I had to use the _can_ anyways,” Lapis responded as she meandered off. _She said that on purpose, I swear to god._

                “I guess I couldn’t. I guess this one time I won’t separate you and your girlfriend for valentine’s day but she better be on her best behavior from here on out.”

                “So she can stay for dinner?” Peridot nervously murmured.

                “I’m not heartless. Still can’t believe… Your father is going to be home any moment I’m going to meet him outside. When I come back inside I want you two sitting peacefully at the table and you need to tell your father about this… Development.” Her voice was so condescending it hurt to hear. Giving in Peridot took a breath to tell one last thing.

                “Mom… Lapis and I aren’t together.”

                “Then let’s send her home, she has no place here today then and you know that.” Her response was like lightning, striking instantly.

                “I was going to say mother…” Peridot felt her heart pick up pace with her eyes widen as she realized the lie she had to spill to help the semi strange girl. “We aren’t together that often, we have different schedules so thank you for letting her stay.” _I have to do this… this is fucking happening… god dammit Lapis._

                “Oh… very well…” With that mother had left to wait outside. Slowly sulking off to the hallway at the front of the living room and there was Lazuli, likely eavesdropping the whole time.

                “Why did you do that Lazuli? Now my mother thinks we’re together and if she finds out otherwise she’s kicking you out.” Peridot spoke clearly exhausted, dealing with her mother was one thing but now her stressed was amped up to 11 thanks to the blue haired girl.

                “I never asked you to take me home,” Lapis nonchalantly responded. Peridot felt bad because Lapis was like a puppy in her eyes, a repeatedly kicked puppy an abandoned puppy.

                “I couldn’t just leave you out there…” Peridot had watched Lapis talk to her parents over the phone after the suspension. They kicked her out, Lapis was left just wandering the streets with a dying phone as the only thing in her pocket.

                “I’d be fine. They feel bad eventually and then call the police to look for me or something…” _God how can she remain so calm… I’d die on the streets in an hour._

                “Still can’t believe you called out that teacher…” Peridot rethought of the day, Lapis had an odd set of courage that was admirable.

                “Well the only person that gets away with calling me and my friends failures is you and maybe my mom. But it’s funny when she says it because she’s a hypocr…” Lapis cut herself off as two tall figures began approaching. _How did I not hear the door? Oh god we aren’t at the table._

                Peridot began turning her head and before she could spot the perpetrators she felt soft hands along her face. Her frantic eyes then tore their way back to another body in front of her, dark blue eyes. Their lips met, a soft touch that sent Peridot’s mind into a frenzy, heat and such ease. Her entire soul enveloped in just the presence of Lapis’ lips.

                “Peridot! You two are supposed to be at the table!” Mother yelled out in anger at the two girls while her father, a tall man with short brown hair and blocky face glared at her.

                “Did I just…” Father murmured.

                “They’re lesbians dear.” Peridot felt like her spirit had left her body and realized that they had a perfectly sized back yard, and that her father was definitely going to bury her in after dinner.

                “I see…” _Lucky father is too awkward, he probably has no idea what to say to that._ “Let’s just eat.” The parents were walking towards the kitchen but Peridot quickly turned on Lazuli for one quick question.

                “ _What the fuck Lapis?”_ Peridot hushed her shout but held all of the same emotions in it.

                “Got to make it believable right?” Feeling a dose of Deja vu Peridot saw a familiar smile, she tried to smile back but she just wanted to cry at the thought of having dinner with this girl. _I’m so dead._

                Once they sat down it was awkward glares at Lapis and plenty of shoveling of food onto plates. Lapis did it with the least amount of grace, often using her utensils over even the serving utensils.

                “So Lazuli is your name right?” Father asked as he sliced his knife through some ham.

                “No actually my names Lapis. Last name Hunter.” Lapis spoke between sips of sparkling cider that was laid out. _What…? What? What the fuck her name isn’t Lapis Lazuli? Why hasn’t she corrected me over the years? Wait she’s the one that told me that, what the hell?_

                “Why do you call her Lazuli dear?” Mother asked with her voice full of confusion that Peridot’s soul shared. Peridot looked up in fear, this was the epitome of failure for a friendship.

                “Oh because she thinks I’m a gem.” Lapis happily intervened. _Did she just wink at my mother…_ looking to her mother for confirmation and with her confused look Peridot realized the truth. Her fake girlfriend had just winked at her mother after a cheesy line.

                Most of the dinner quickly got split in two, Lapis and Peridot talking amongst themselves while her parents stayed to themselves. Once their plates were starting to be left with only remnants of the meal they began to close out dinner.

                “So Lapis when will your parents be here to pick you up?” Mother asked curiously drawing away from father. _Sore spot._

                “Oh they’re going to meet up with me close by actually, I’ll just send them a message once I’m on my way.”

                “Absurd have them come here. I want to meet your parents regardless, it now makes sense why Peridot hasn’t brought home any boys.” Her last comment was off handed and nearly disregarded to the wind.

                “No it’s really okay…”

                “Hey mom.” Peridot quickly interjected before the conversation could continue. “Can Lapis stay the night?” _I don’t want her sleeping outside…_ _Not anymore._ _God I’m such a nerd…_

                “You’re asking whether your girlfriend can spend the night. On the night we even learn of her.” Mother asked and thinking it over Peridot realized how absurd it was.

                “Yeah don’t worry, hey I think I just got a text from them… I should be on my way.” Lapis began standing and pulling herself away from the table.

                “Mom I lied.”

                “What?”

                “Peridot… shush….” Lapis murmured off in a strained voice.

                “Okay… so Lapis got kicked out for defending me and some friends from a teacher today at school. Her parents were really mad at her getting in trouble and being the ‘nobody’ that I am, I forgot it was dad’s birthday. I offered to let her come over so that she could at least have dinner.” Peridot finished off with her shoulders slumped. Her parents both had their arms crossed looking down at them.

                “Why did you two lie about being together then?” Mother asked and to that Lapis took a step forward.

                “I’m a little shit aren’t I?”

                “Wait you two kissed though?” Father stepped in with confusion and once again a smile was placed on Lapis lips as she began to laugh.

                “Gotta make it convincing am I right?” Lapis smugly spoke.  


 

 

 

                After lots of words and pleading, Lapis was able to spend the night. On the other side of the house. Still that was the first Valentine’s Day with someone and now it is a day I fear. Sincerely Peridot.


End file.
